Lord Coxswain: The Man, The Myth, The Muttonchops

Lord Coxswain is a mysogonistic xenophobe of the great-white-hunter-who-shoots-everything trope and is thus hailed as 'undoubtedly Earth's greatest Human'.  Passionate admirer of dusky maidens and terror to Johnny Alien, he is at home in the Venusian jungles hunting down rebels and wildlife alike as he is crushing dissidents on the Moon.  He is the self proclaimed icon of humanitarian supremacy as he crushes all before him with his pith helmet, pipe and a brace of patented Dr Grordbort's contrapulations and ray guns.

A former Navy man and a veteran of many minor tiffs and battles, his adventures are not for the faint hearted. Indeed they have been described as 'full of violence, bad language, interplanetary racism and a little sprinkling of smut, so you get what you pay for.'

So why am I bothering to describe this blatantly heroic chap?  Principally because he stars in a range of interplanetary pictures and books sponsored by Dr Grordbort himself.  'Victory', 'Triumph' and 'Onslaught' comprise the three books thus far.

'Onslaught' is the latest addition to the series, but is also a bit of a compilation of the previous ones also so if you have the first two volumes you'll be familiar with a lot of it.  Nevertheless, these are a belly shaking journey through everything that is so right and wrong about VSF (though arguably this is WW1 era fiction).

Lord C valiantly defends a Moon Maiden

He is so heroic, in fact, that he has his own beer! This was indeed made in New Zealand:

Let us be honest, it’s damned thirsty work for those smashing chaps of the Earth’s Armed Forces. Spending your days up to your danglies in mud and razor wire while bringing a bit of civilizing influence to those ugly Venusian brutes can leave a chap parched.

That’s where His Majesty’s Brewing Corps comes in. How’s your average tommy meant to go over the top if he hasn’t had a bloody good pint or two of warm bitter to get his ardor up! It’s brewing at the pointy end.

Believe me, you’ve not brewed until you’ve whipped up a cheeky little robust porter while crouching in a crater, swathed in chlorine gas and surrounded by angry Venusian spear chuckers. That sorts the men from the boys, I’ll tell you!

Want to taste Victory? Why not try a couple of the liquid offerings whipped up by the boys of the Brewing Corps?

Lord Cockswain’s Courage

Brewed using five different malts, Khargunthi hops, black strap molasses, bull’s testosterone and a thousand yard stare, Cockswain’s Courage is as black as space and at 6.3% abv guaranteed to warm the cockles. Rich and complex (unlike the lads in the Brewing Corps) there’s also a merry hint of toasted oak after some poor blighter’s wooden leg was blown clean off and landed in the fermenter!

It tastes like War!

I will most definitely be putting together a Company list for IHMN for Lord C and his cronies (who are inevitably short-lived despite a lack of a 'red shirt').  Lord C is typified here in action on a big game hunt on Venus;


https://www.wetanz.com/rayguns/

Medal of Arbitrary Self-Importance

All I can say is... I Want One for Christmas!

The Society for Interplanetary Cooperation and Cross-galactic Overindulgence held its annual prize giving in Carlsbad, Prussia this past Tuesday.

While the event itself displayed much of its infamous pompousness, the officers of SICCO this year left a legacy worth highlighting.

The Medal of Arbitrary Self-Importance – so named because it cannot actually be awarded by a third (or even second) person – allows time-space revellers on all wave-lengths to award those blatantly best deserving – themselves.

We are in no doubt that this medal – left unattended in a public space such as a Turkish bath, Ale house or brothel in your vicinity – would quickly make it onto the chest of a deserving (in their mind) individual.

We would therefore very much like to dispatch one to your premises forthwith.

Perchance you, Sir/Madame, would be a splendid recipient of such an award? It’s in your hands!

Regardless of the chest it adorns, Dr Grordbort’s(patrons and sponsors of the award) would be only too pleased to serve!

Comes in metal gift box container measuring 95 x 135 x 40 mm (3.7 x 5.3 x 1.5 in).

https://www.wetanz.com/medal-of-arbitrary-self-importance/

Dr Grordbort and the Deadliest Game!

Dr Grordbort Presents: The Deadliest Game from Media Design School on Vimeo.

Scientific Adventure Violence for Young Men and Literate Women

The year's foremost journal of progressive armaments and weaponry! Behold the latest line of defense captured in action!

The second book to emerge from the printshop at Grordbort Industries, Victory follows in the footsteps of the trans-galactically successful Dr Grordbort's Contrapulatronic Dingus Directory that was released last year.

Filled to the brim with first hand tales of exploration and progress from the great heroes of our time, picture strips of unimaginable escapades on the frontier, never-seen-before portraits of dazzling damsels and monstrous villains, and laudable accounts of man and robot pitted against our greatest enemy (the uncivilized world), Victory is an onslaught of action-packed scientific adventure in full-spectrum color - containing facts that every boy and literate girl should know.

Written and illustrated by Weta Workshop Conceptual Designer Greg Broadmore, this book sumptuously details a science-fiction history that never was. Hearkening back to the classic sci-fi serials of yesteryear, it reveals the backstories and mythos of Weta Limited's highly limited ray gun collectible line.

This gorgeous 64 page full-color hardcover will be available mid-November.

You can pre-order now (I already have!) directly from Weta here:
http://www.wetanz.com/victory/

Dr Grordbort's Infallible Aether Oscillators & other Marvellous Contraptions!

An incredible website, selling all manner of revolutionary equipment including the latest in steam powered rayguns, including the MANMELTER 3600ZX Sub-Atomic Disintegrator Pistol and the GOLIATHON 83 Infinity Beam Projector, shown here by Dr Grordbort's lovely neice Leila.

Even if you arent in the market for the latest in death ray breaththroughs, you must check this site out!

.

Also includes a "Bestiary of the Cosmos" section with the latest zoological discoveries, including the Vesuian Double Backed Shrovel and the Mountain Meat Beetle.

.

http://www.wetanz.com/holics/index.php?catid=4

.

Thanks for the great link Maks!