Saturday, 30 September 2006

The Book Meme Strikes the Master of 2mm VSF!

Hi Everyone,

Recently I, Maksim-Smelchak, tagged Tas for the book meme from my blog... umm I mean Gentleman's Gazette:

( http://6mm-minis.blogspot.com/ )

...and he's trustily responded from his posting with the Australian Navy at sea (...through the miracle of Aethersphere satellites and the tried and trusty carrier pigeon)... the navy keeps a man busy, it does.

G'day Maks,

1. Name one book that changed your life:

"The Hunt for Red October" by Tom Clancy.

(I was in high school when it was released and got me seriously interested in joining the Navy.)

2. One book you've read more than once:

Sun Tsu's "The Art of War".

3. One book that made you laugh:

"He Died With a Felafel In His Hand" by John Birminham.

http://tinyurl.com/fuyfz

4. One book that made you cry:

"Biography of Hoess, Commandant of Auschwitz" by Constantine Fitzgibbon and Rudolph Hoess with an introduction by Primo Levi.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rudolf_Hoess

5. One book you're currently reading:

"Moby Dick" by Herman Melville.

6. One book you wish you'd written:

David Weber's "Honour Harrington" series.

7. One book you wish had never been written:

"Das Kapital" by Karl Marx.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Das_Kapital

8. One book you'd want on a desert island:

"The SAS Survivor's Handbook"

9. One book you've been meaning to read:

"The Military Maxims of Napoleon" by Dr. David G. Chandler.

http://www.military-info.com/freebies/maximsn.htm

10. Tag another person:

Ralph AKA L-4, Retired Member of the US Army, Romantic Advice Columnist and Fitness Guru.

Have a great Saturday!

And don't forget your Gin and Tonic!

Shabbat Shalom,
Maksim-Smelchak.

Tuesday, 19 September 2006

Talk Like a Pirate Day!

.
Ahoy Mateys,

Avast me hearties... Ye best be rememberin that 19 September is thee annual Talk Like a Pirate Day! So's wherever ye are--at port, or out ta sea, or in the dungeon, don't ferget ta use yer best pirate voice at all times, or ye may end up tied to the yard arm, or in Davie Jone's locker at the bottum of da briney sea.

Aaarrrrr...ye scurvy dogs, ye best folla da Pirates code, or suffer yer fate.

Avast scum!!! Here be the link to the Talk Like a Pirate Web Site:

http://www.talklikeapirate.com/

Aaargh...Remember, those that go there during ye work time will have to waaaalk the plaaaank!!!

Yo ho ho...

Shalom,
Cap'n Maksim "Peg-leg" Smelchak.

P.S.
A hearty greet'ins to me mate, the right honurable Commander Paul James "Tas" O'Grady out at sea with da Ozzie Navy!

P.S.S.
Da wench below be fer all ye lecherus uns! Aaargh! Needs a meal, that wun does...

Monday, 31 July 2006

Raid on the Isle of Dr Loveless


The London Illustrated Times reports a massive clash has taken place in the mist shrouded islands belonging to the mad scientist Dr Loveless....

While the raiders managed to penetrate the screen, including a home designed aero-carrier, and get their bombers overhead, damage was minimal and who knows how the madman will retailiate?

For full details see the full article here: http://www.lshm.net/?p=474

Meanwhile, the Turks under "Pasha Dave da Turk", have been rapidly expanding their fleet with foreign purchases!

Great stuff Dave!

A new Invasion from Mars?


The Royal Observatory reports a close encounter with Mars will soon be upon us!

Watch out for the green flash in the sky!

--------------
This month and next, Earth is catching up with Mars in an encounter that will culminate in the closest approach between the two planets in recorded history. The next time Mars may come this close is in 2287. Due to the way Jupiter's gravity tugs on Mars and perturbs its orbit, astronomers can only be certain that Mars has not come this close to Earth in the Last 5,000 years, but it may be as long as 60,000 years before it happens again.

The encounter will culminate on August 27th when Mars comes to within34,649,589 miles of Earth and will be (next to the moon) the brightest object in the night sky. It will attain a magnitude of -2.9 and will appear 25.11 arc seconds wide. At a modest75-power magnification Mars will look as large as the full moon to the naked eye. Mars will be easy to spot. At the beginning of August it will rise in the east at 10p.m. and reach its azimuth at about 3 a.m.

By the end of August when the two planets are closest, Mars will rise at nightfall and reach its highest point in the sky at 12:30a.m. That's pretty convenient to see something that no human being has seen in recorded history.

So, mark your calendar at the beginning of August to see Mars grow progressivelybrighter and brighter throughout the month. Share this with your children and grandchildren. NO ONE ALIVE TODAY WILL EVER SEE THIS AGAIN!

Saturday, 29 July 2006

Venetian LandIronclad unveiled!

Through the Royal carrier pigeon service, John has sent me a pic of his latest discovery - the Ventian LandIronclad "Rialto".

The first of what will undoubtedly be a squadron of hissing steam and clattering steel beasts to defend the offshore city-state, the defences of Venice are being stringly uphraded in light of te increasing Turkish threat.


One can only hope that this Venetian buildup isnt too late....
(modelling and painting by John of "Vanmullikan" fame)

Wednesday, 19 July 2006

Czar's New Steam Tank Revealed at Muscovy Exposition!

Hello Everyone,

Ace reporter, Maksim-Smelchak, reporting from the recent Muscovy Arms Exposition and Yarmgorod Agricultural Faire...

Many wonders of the "modern age" were revealed including the Czar's very own twelve foot beets and turnips from top secret superscience farms in Little Russia (Imagine the delecious Borscht from those puppies!), but the showstopper came from...

Smyrl Ironworks, who revealed their new steam tank to much acclaim.


Please check out the following news bureau for more photographs and information:

http://briefurl.com/Czars-Steam-Tank

http://pshobbyshed.blogspot.com/

Ace reporter, Maksim-Smelchak signing out...

Shalom,
Maksim-Smelchak.

Sunday, 16 July 2006

Deployment to the Far East

Thats right Chaps - the feathery hats and drinks cabinets are loaded up on the coolies' backs - the Regiment is on the march! I'll be back as soon as possible, with fresh tales of mess dinners in exotic places, dusky local lasses and the usual misadventures.

Till then keep a stiff upper lip and when in doubt, a refreshing GntT will restore your spirits...

Chin-Chin!

Saturday, 8 July 2006

MayDay Battle Report

Warren recently posted some pics of his great Aeronef Terrain which he used at a convention demo he ran. I asked him for some more info:

"MayDay is an annual convention put on by a wargaming group in Edmonton, Canada, for the bulk of you who I’m sure have never heard of it. At this year’s event I put on an Aeronef game, featuring a selection of miniatures from Brigade Models. The game set a British Squadron against a German Squadron for control of their respective colonial holdings in Central Africa. The British force was centered around the carrier Athena, and the heavy cruisers Agamemnon and Hector, with a number of supporting destroyers and escorts. The German force was based on the dirigible battleship Rhineland and heavy cruiser Derfflinger, with a flotilla of light cruisers, Kolburg, Bremen and Nurnburg, in support.

The initial German deployment had the heavy guns of Rhineland and Derfflinger in the centre of the field, with the Kolburg flotilla on the left flank. For their part the British concentrate on the left, aiming to engage the German light cruisers first, before taking on the heavy German ships.

The British plan worked well in the early rounds of the battle, with the Germans having difficulty coordinating their manoeuvring between the slow moving dirigibles and their much fast nef cruisers. The opening exchanges definitely favoured the British and the German light cruisers, along with their accompanying patrol nefs, suffered badly. As the engagement progressed, the Germans were finally able to bring Rhineland and Derfflinger’s heavy guns into action. This added firepower started to turn the tide back from what had been shaping up to be a British route. Several rounds of pounding by the German ships gradually wore down the two British heavy cruisers, while the British were successful in heavily damaging the Derfflinger. By the end of the time period, the Hector had been sent crashing to earth, while both the Derfflinger and Agamemnon were severely damaged, and the Athena and Rhineland were largely undamaged.

Neither side was able to deliver a clear knock-out blow, but overall the British were able to inflict marginally more damage on their opponents so I gave them a slight victory. That being said, both forces would certainly be able to recover and have another go at it before dominance in the region could be decided. All and all I was quite happy with the way the game went, and I believe that all of players had a good time.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v356/wrbridge/Testing/P1010111.jpg
- This picture shows overall layout of the battlefield before the two respective forces arrived on the scene.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v356/wrbridge/Testing/P1010113.jpg
- Here are the initial set-ups of the two forces, with the German heavy ships in the centre and the light flotilla on the left flank. British forces concentrated against the German light cruisers, with the heavy cruisers Hector and Agamemnon in the lead, the carrier Athena hanging back from the frontlines.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v356/wrbridge/Testing/P1010116.jpg
- Fighters from Athena and the heavy cruisers move in to pound on the German light cruisers in the open stages of the battle, inflicting heavy damage on the outgunned Germans.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v356/wrbridge/Testing/P1010117.jpg
- Once the German heavy guns got into the action the British light nefs began to pull back, leaving Hector and Agamemnon to forge ahead alone and engage the Rhineland and Derfflinger"



I asked him speciifically about the great looking terrain, which really looks spectuacular I think.

"This is my first attempt at creating terrain for my growing Aeronef fleets, so there was some trial and error before I finally found a system that worked. From the start my goal was to create the illusion of the battle happening high above the ground, so the terrain was created to support that vision. As a result all of the terrain pieces are very low, barely more than two dimensional, with just enough height on each piece to show some depth, but without being tall enough to ruin the idea that it was all a very long way below. This approach has the added benefit of making it easy for all the ships to fly right over terrain features, the bases sit nicely on top of all the terrain without problem, so there is no issue with having to fly around terrain features, or move them doing the game to allow for ships to pass over top. The construction was actually quite simple, albeit a little time consuming. All of the fields, towns and forested areas are based on of all things....beer mats! I've found that they are great for basing things on because they don't have the same tendency to warp when they get wet I've found with cardstock or the like.

To create the, I first cut the beer mats into the desired shapes, roughly square for the fields and towns, and irregular shapes for the forests. I first coated all of the cut pieces with black primer, and then painted each with whatever base colour I wanted....green or brown or yellow for the fields, green and brown for the towns, and green for the forests. At that point I flocked each area with the corresponding scenic ground covering, and for the towns I drybrushed a lighter brown over the dark brown base.

Once the bases were set for all the respective terrain types I added small elements of height to make the features stand out a little. For the fields I took small bits of scenic foliage and glued them down along the edges of the pieces themselves, and along the divisions between different coloured fields on the terrain piece, with the goal of simulating hedges. Along the exact same lines I covered all of the forest pieces with different shades of green scenic foliage.

The town pieces also received a scattering of scenic foliage, to represent hedges and trees and such. The buildings for the towns I made from 2mm square beads, with the string holes filled in. I had initially attempted to give the buildings peaked roofs, but in the end decided it was far too much work, and given their size it didn’t add much to the overall effect on the gaming table. The buildings were painted with a black base coat, then drybrushed over with white, and finished off with a red brick colour for the roofs."


Thanks very much Warren - great stuff!

Thursday, 6 July 2006

AN EXPLANATION AND AN APOLOGY

Chaps,

Please accept my sincerest apologies for the lack of news from the Middle East - I have been caught up in several real world issues which have impacted on my time somewhat. Suffice it to say, normal service will be resumed as soon as possible.

Similarly, the Rayleigh Factorium, whilst being a veritable hive of ideas, has been somewhat tardy on the construction and painting front.

Of one thing though you may be certain, as soon as the Factorium is back to full operation then the readers of this august journal will be the first to know.

BTW, for those of you that are unaware, I am in fact using the contents of my various postings as the basis of a full scale novel based on an alternate 1910 with an Arab Revolt against the Turks as the centrepiece. The book will be very VSF based and will feature all the best elements of Land, Sea and Air - Aeronefs, Dirigibles, Aquanefs and Land Ironclads. Think 'Red Storm Rising' only Victorian style....................

All the best,

DC

Tuesday, 4 July 2006

HUMOUR: Socialist Super Mario Bros?

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Hi Readers,

Ace reporter, Maksim-Smelchak reporting from Imperial Russia, or what used to be Imperial Russia before the Revolution...

You see, I used a time machine to travel to the future and see what might have happened...

If we didn't live in a cozy VSF universe...

======

Imagine if the USA had lost the Cold War...

What would Super Mario Brothers have turned out like in the alternate USSR-dominated universe:

http://briefurl.com/the_peoples_mario

(Check out comments section for full link)

I used this site to compress the URL:

http://briefurl.com/index.php

I found a bunch of old Soviet propaganda posters here:

http://briefurl.com/Old-ussr-posters

Oooh, weird! Norman Rockwell on Socialist crack...

======

Have a nice day!

Shalom,
Maksim-Smelchak.

Wednesday, 21 June 2006

Secret German Rocket Base Uncovered!

Hello Everyone,

Ace reporter Maksim-Smelchak reporting from the TMP Conference in Europe...

*** FLASH NEWS RELEASE ***


A secret German rocket base has become a major issue of contention at the conference... learn more about it here:

http://theminiaturespage.com/boards/msg.mv?id=78190

Maksim-Smelchak out...

Shalom,
Maksim-Smelchak.

Asian Pirate takes to the Air!

The infamous Malayan pirate Sandokan has aquired himself an aerial conveyance!


Reports just in indicate that the Black Anarchist Fleet has delivered to this menace a fearful weapon to assist him in preying on international aerial traffic. Nothing is now safe from this inhumane butcher!

John V's imagination is the source of this creative model - a Cutlass spar torpedo vessel by Brigade Models. Tiger flag is home-made. Nice one John!

Monday, 19 June 2006

FIGHTING RETREAT FROM THE SUEZ CANAL

LAND IRONCLADS CRUSH ALL BEFORE THEM

RETREAT TO THE GATES OF CAIRO

Fragmentary reports have been arriving at our Khartoum office of the running battle being fought against the Turkish invaders across the Nile Delta and up to the very gates of Cairo. Many details have yet to emerge from this calamitous event and so this report will be a summary of the main points. At his stage, so confused is the situation we are not even sure which units are deployed where. Such is the intensity of the fighting that many units have been unable to contact their respective headquarters for orders and wholesale uncertainty is hampering all attempts at organising any meaningful counterattacks.

To attempt to give our readers an insight into the fraught situation currently engulfing the Nile Delta we have carefully selected two reports ‘hot from the fight’ so to speak, from which a picture may be constructed of the calamity facing our gallant servicemen. This action has been approved by the War Cabinet to whom this journal, and its readers, extend their most sincere and grateful appreciation.

A DASHING CAVALRY OFFICER

“My troop was engaged in a forward reconnaissance some distance from the canal. My command consisted of some eighty troopers and I was inordinately proud of their turnout and manly bearing. It was first light on the day in question and I was about to partake in my breakfast prior to resuming the patrol of the forward positions when an immense bombardment rained down from the East Bank. The shells screamed overhead; well to the rear of our position and I immediately gave the order to break camp and prepare to move out. Within a thrice the men were mounted and breakfast was but a distant memory. It was whilst the barrage was roaring overhead that I first saw the dreaded war machines of the enemy lumbering towards us. With great gouts of steam pouring from their funnels and making hellish clanking and squeaking noises; these iron giants lurched ever closer. Needless to say, the horses became skittish and the men were having difficulty in controlling them. I was debating the best way of flanking and taking one of these beasts when the wretched thing began firing at our proud and defiant troop. The men were magnificent; standing proudly as shot and shell and then maxim fire began to play upon that valiant band whilst I considered our options for the attack. The casualties began to mount and, having seen sufficient of the composition of the attacking force to be able to report to my HQ, I reluctantly gave the order to disengage as out attack would have little chance of success. We would have another chance to take one of these machines in due course I was sure of that; still it was a damned nuisance having to leave such unfinished business! Our journey back to HQ was a thrilling dash from cover to cover; hotly pursued by exploding shells and gunfire from giant airships flying so low that you almost touch them. We had lost no more men when at last we arrived at what had now become the rearguard. We were tired, angry and defiant and ready to take the worst that Mr.Turk could throw at us, given half a chance. Alas! We were to form part of the cavalry rearguard whilst the main body of the army fell back towards Cairo, so our opportunity for revenge for our gallant fallen would have to wait for some other time”.

What pluck! What courage! This unnamed officer has provided a shining example of all that is bold and resolute in the face of the enemy. Whilst shot and shell wreaked its bloody carnage all around him, he coolly considered the options for attack with no thought for his own safety. Such is the stuff of which empires are won!

Our second report comes from an altogether different source. From the other end of the social spectrum a simple cockney artilleryman, the backbone of Her Majesties Forces and the salt of the earth. From a modest and humble background, uneducated and of little or no pretensions to be other than that which fate has ordained; this artilleryman also has a tale to tell. It is a tale of simple heroism, of doing one’s duty in the face of the enemy and with no fuss or bother.

“Lawks, it was a rum do an’ no mistake. There we was, deployed in a forward position, stuck out in the middle o’ nowheres when the balloon wen’ up. Our six guns were set up just below the ridgeline wiv’ only the officers up front. It was ‘ot and we was gaspin’ for a brew. Then the ‘eavens opened. It rained shot an’ shell and me mate Nobby on number two reckoned he ‘ad’nt seen anythin’ like it since ninety eight. The shells were going over’ead an we was bein’ quiet like (still gaspin’ for a brew!), when the Captain galloped over the hill down to the battery. “Make ready with H.E., range one farsand yards,” he shouts. So we loaded double quick and got ready. Then we saw a first look at ‘em. Huge great fings they were, all steamin’ an clanking wiv flags flyin. I aint never seen anything like that before and it fair shook me rigid it did. Still, we kept at it and waited for the signal to fire. Then it ‘appened. A great airship swooped down out of the sky and started giving us some Maxim fire. Straight away men and ‘orses began to fall all about as the great steam machines ‘eaded straight up the slope towards us. Then it was madness as the machines opened up with guns and Maxims. Explosions, fires, screams and death there was as they lumbered up the hill. Nobby copped it early on – I told ‘im to be careful, the silly begger but ‘e ‘ad no chance against the machine. My gun got off around a dozen rounds before it jammed. By now they was on top of us, shooting left an’ right. Our Captain (a proper gent ‘e was) was standing, ‘is arm in a sling, firing off his revolver at the nearest of the brutes when we was overrun. He was a brave man alright, game to the last. There was nuthin’ I could do so I ‘id behind an upturned wagon and hoped they would pass by. I stayed put for ages, waiting until it was quiet. After the battle ‘ad moved away, I crept out to see if anyone was left alive. It was ‘orrible, all bits of broken guns an’ wagons and dead everywhere. I fink some of the crews was captured but I can’t be sure. The troop flag was still flyin’ so I took it down and stuck it in me pack – the Turks were not gettin’ their mitts on it, not if I ‘ad anythin’ to do wiv it! I ‘ad a quick butchers around and grabbed some gear – water and a rifle and made my way in the direction of the army. All I saw of our side was some cavalry, gallopin’ away from the machines, so I kept low and took it easy like. The journey back was a case of dodgin’ enemy patrols and lying low. Two days later I was picked up by a patrol and taken back to Cairo. I’ve still got the flag and when I get assigned to a new battery I’ll make sure they know how I got it an’ I’ll tell ‘em ‘ow we will get the scores even with Mr Turk. I owe me mates that.”

Both of these tales serve to show just how strong the mettle of our brave and plucky servicemen is; how, even in the midst of battle, unshakeable courage and resolve are the watchwords of Her Majesties Forces in the field.

However dark and troubled the path to victory is, whatever nefarious deeds and unspeakable beastliness our enemies may devise; there will always be the stalwarts of the Empire to shine the light of freedom in the heart of darkness.

GOD SAVE THE QUEEN AND HER HEROIC ARMED FORCES!

A DAY OF INFAMY

TURKISH FORCES CROSS THE CANAL

HEAVY FIGHTING IN THE NILE DELTA

The War Cabinet has issued the following communique and we have been instructed to publish the contents contained therein in their entirety.

"At 3 O’clock this morning, GMT, the armed forces of the Ottoman Turkish Empire launched a massive and surprise attack against Imperial positions along the Nile Delta in Egypt. This coincided with large-scale assaults against positions along the Suez Canal, in conjunction with indiscriminate bombing raids directed at Port Sudan, Cairo, Port Said and Khartoum. Air attacks were also reported against naval installations as well as several military and civilian aerodromes. The attack on the Nile Delta was carried out by crack Jannisary formations and was supported by heavy Land Ironclad regiments and with close aerial support provided by the Ottoman Air Fleet. Fighting has been very heavy and in spite of operating under the dual handicaps of being both severely outnumbered and having been taken completely by surprise, Imperial forces have inflicted significant losses on the invading formations. For tactical reasons it has been deemed necessary for the Imperial forces currently in action to retire to alternate positions, thereby maintaining communications with the Sudan Field Force."

"Details of the various attacks are at the present time, unconfirmed, but it is almost certain that the Suez Canal has in fact, fallen. Imperial troops are understood to be falling back under extreme pressure along the entire length of this vital waterway; as a result of this units of the Red Sea Fleet have been placed on full alert. Similarly, both the Sudan and the Somaliland Field Forces have been mobilised with all leave being cancelled and the program of receptions planned to celebrate the arrival of the Australian Squadron has been, regrettably, postponed."
"Reinforcements are being despatched from all corners of the Empire to increase the size of both the Sudan and Somaliland Field Forces; prior to the commencement of operations against the Turkish aggressor. As a result of these attacks; Her Majesties Government has announced that unrestricted hostilities against the said Turkish aggressor are to commence forthwith."
"Further details will be made available at the appropriate time."

The editorial staff of this august journal would like to remind our readers that prior to this unprecedented development the forces of Her Britannic Majesty were operating at a much lower scale of operations. In fact, it would be fair to say the scale of military and naval activity was more within keeping with the role of an international policeman. It is true that a state of war existed between the Empire and that of the Turks but with certain, clearly defined conditions applied. The resultant agreement was unique in international diplomacy and was intended to serve as a model by which minor disagreements between nations could be resolved without the full horror of wholesale military action taking place. By mutual agreement, hostile activity was limited to the Red Sea area and both powers saw fit to ensure, by the most strenuous means possible, that the spectre of escalation was kept firmly in check. Indeed, both powers actively discouraged allies from taking common cause in this affair. Clearly the Government of the Sublime Porte saw fit to honour these obligations only for as long as was convenient whilst they were secretly making their nefarious plans.

By their damnable action; callously executed with scant regard for the protocol of international diplomacy and fairness, they have demonstrated to the whole world that they are incapable of observing the most basic principles of decency and honour associated with a civilised nation.
The editorial staff of this august journal staff have also made strenuous efforts to ensure that as many lines of communication from the theatre of war are kept open for as long as possible, in compliance with the request of the War Cabinet.

Further details will be published as soon as they are available.

GOD SAVE THE QUEEN!

Friday, 16 June 2006

MJ-12's Iron Stars & Pre-WWI Economies!

Hi Everyone,

Ace reporter Maksim-Smelchak reporting from the MJ-12 Economic Conference in Paris regarding Iron stars Aetherships and pre-W.W.I. economies...

Other recent news includes the latest on China's revitalized fleet.

Please check all of this out and more at the MJ-12 forums:

http://games.groups.yahoo.com/group/mj12games/

Ace reporter Maksim-Smelchak out!

Shalom,
Maksim-Smelchak.

An exploration of debauchery, vice and other reasons to be a man!

An exploration of debauchery, vice and other reasons to be a man!