Thursday, 8 June 2006

DISASTER OFF YENBO!

TWO CRUISERS SUNK!

"KARIF'S BEY " WREAKS DEADLY REVENGE FOR THE ASSAULT ON AQABA

It with deep regret that this journal has to report the loss of two of Her Majesties Armoured Cruisers off the coast of the Arabian Peninsula, some fifty miles west of the port of Yenbo. The two vessels; H.M.S. Exmouth and H.M.S. Sidmouth of the Devon class were carrying out a sweep along the coast; on the hunt for enemy inshore shipping, when they were engaged and sunk by the Turkish Aquanef: Karif's Bey.

The two Royal Naval vessels had apparently surprised the Turkish vessel on the surface and moved immediately into the attack. Both cruisers proceeded to open fire upon the Turkish vessel but failed to score any telling hits before it was able to evade their attentions by diving below the surface. There then followed a very tense hour or so as the two gallant cruisers attempted to engage the Turkish aquanef with depth bombs. Using the still to be perfected Undersea Position of Vessel Cartographogram apparatus (U.P.V.C as it is known in nautical circles) the two cruisers were able to plot the position of the enemy vessel but not with sufficient accuracy to inflict a telling blow. In the meantime, the enemy vessel, with obvious designs of its own, was able to manouver into a firing postion to unleash a salvo of deadly Electric Torpedoes (known as E.T.s in naval parlance) from what appeared to be point blank range.

Alas, the two Royal Naval cruisers, in an excess of brio in their attempts to force conclusions with the enemy vessel, had neglected to observe certain basic tactical principles when in such an action and, in operating in too close proximity to one another, duly presented the spread of Electric Torpedoes with not one, but two targets.

It was ascertained from survivors that the Sidmouth was hit twice and exploded in a spectacular display of pyrotechnics. This heroic vessel was still firing at the time of the explosion - her guns being used in a vain attempt to detonate the torpedoes before they reached their target. Of the crew of some six hundred brave officers and men unconfirmed reports indicate that only around forty souls survived, clinging to what little wreckage remained.

Within seconds the Exmouth was also hit by a single torpedo. This vessel however was vastly more fortunate than her ill-fated sister. She took around three hours to finally sink and so was able not only able to lower all her lifeboats but was also able to take onboard the shocked survivors of the Sidmouth as well.

At this point the Karif's Bey surfaced and immediately despatched a skiff to offer assistance to the shocked survivors. From their own supplies the Turkish sailors handed out hot mint tea, cigarettes, kebabs and Fezzes to the Royal Naval Officers and men. They also left quantities of medical supplies and took the more seriously wounded cases with them for medical treatment. The Turkish vessel stayed in the vicinity until some local patrol boats appeared on the scene to escort the lifeboats to Yenbo and to take charge of the prisoners. It must be pointed out that in respect and acknowlegement of their selfless and humane gesture, the Royal Naval prisoners stood to attention and gave their Turkish enemies three rousing cheers as the dreaded Man of War Karif's Bey slipped beneath the waves to continue her mission.

The Admiralty is compiling a full and detailed report on this disaster which will be discussed in full at the next emergency meeting of the War Cabinet.

THIS JOURNAL, AND ALL ITS READERS ACROSS THE LENGTH AND BREADTH OF OUR GLORIOUS QUEEN'S DOMAINS DULY OFFER A SALUTE TO YOU MR.TURK FOR OBSERVING SUCH HONOUR AND DECENCY ACROSS THE LINES OF WAR.

1 comment:

Tas said...

Red Cross Agents in Istanbul have confirmed the identities of the Royal Navy personnel captured by the Turks. They are being held in a Prisoner camp near the Dardanelles Peninsula, where their well being is monitored by weekly Red Cross inspections. Next of Kin have been notified by telegraph. Neither side has yet to offer to discuss prisoner exchanges.

An exploration of debauchery, vice and other reasons to be a man!

An exploration of debauchery, vice and other reasons to be a man!