Thursday, 8 June 2006

DRAMATIC RESCUE OF AQABA HERO!

‘MEDIGS’ PROVE THEIR WORTH!

AIR ATTACKS INTENSIFY.

In a daring and dramatic rescue, the first time such a method has been employed in action, Lt. Herbert RN, Executive Officer the Royal Navy Monitor H.M.S. Chaos, was winched aboard the Medical Dirigible (‘MeDigs’ as they are known throughout the service) H.M.A.S. Pasteur for immediate treatment for wounds sustained in action against the Turks at the Aqaba Barrage. Our readers may recall that this gallant officer, completely oblivious of his own safety, rushed into the blazing conflagration of the wardroom in order to rescue many rare and valuable artefacts. This same officer, despite the intense heat and enemy shells whistling around his ears, proceeded to attempt, single-handedly, to drag the very valuable wardroom piano to a place of safety. Alas, he was stricken with a debilitating blow at the crucial moment as the gin decanter fell on his foot; rendering our hero helpless. The fire was extinguished a short while after and this gallant officer, ignoring manfully the obvious pain and discomfort of such a heinous injury, returned to his post on the bridge and only retired to the sick bay when ordered to do so by his Captain. The Lieutenant, who is believed to have broken the fifth metatarsal on his right foot, was diagnosed as requiring immediate surgical assistance that the vessels own facility could not provide. With this in mind the call went out to summon one of the newly formed Medical Dirigibles to airlift the heroic officer to safety. Within the hour the airship had arrived to take its precious cargo onboard to provide immediate succour and comfort.

With pride in their hearts and ramrod straight backs the crew of H.M.S. Chaos saluted their brave and resolute officer as he was winched into the air and back for a ‘Blighty’. In honour of this gallant officer’s bravery Captain Stewart ordered a double ration of ginger beer for his crew to be served with the evening meal of sardines on toast. The adulation in the faces of many a veteran jolly jack tar upon receipt of this humane and generous gesture was a sight to gladden the heart of all that stand true to the traditions of the senior service.

Such fortitude and sang froid is the very stuff of legend; these are the exploits upon which empires are won.

Much praise was also given to the crew of the Medical Dirigible H.M.A.S. Pasteur under the command of Captain Finlay. The skill and dexterity with which the giant airship was handled means that any of our servicemen who are unlucky enough to be injured in action will be able to take comfort that the MeDigs will soon be on hand to provide relief and succour during their hour of need. It is believed that several more of these vessels are being sent from England with all due despatch.

Finally, it appears that the scale of air attacks against our inshore shipping has increased dramatically with some fourteen separate raids recorded in the last week alone. These raids, never usually larger than three or four vessels are causing much consternation along the coast. Our own air assets are quite thinly stretched as a result of having to monitor enemy shipping and provide valuable intelligence for the fleet, and it is with steely resolve that the commander of our air forces is resisting all attempts to make any redeployment to the coastal region. This has caused a degree of unrest along the coast but we have been assured that moves are afoot to increase the anti-aeronef batteries and the early warning observation posts.
Of one thing though we can be certain. In whatever shape or form the Turkish foe decides to attack the territory or material of Her Majesties glorious domains he will be in for a pretty hot reception!

WHATEVER YOU CAN DISH OUT MR.TURK, WE CAN TAKE IT AND REVISIT IT TENFOLD!!

THE EMPIRE WILL NEVER WAVER IN ITS RESOLVE!!

1 comment:

Tas said...

I am pleased to inform you that we here at The Times Illustrated have been overwhelmed by the flood of incoming mail supporting the recent military actions in Arabia. We will ensure that we are present for the landing of Lt Herbert and will endeavour to publish an interview with this gallant Officer as soon as possible.

sincere regards,
Editor

An exploration of debauchery, vice and other reasons to be a man!

An exploration of debauchery, vice and other reasons to be a man!