Friday, 1 February 2008

STATE VISIT OF THE AUSTRALIAN NAVAL ATTACHE

FURTHER DETAILS RELEASED BY HM GOVERNMENT

With the impending visit to our shores of a senior member of the Australian Navy it has been revealed that our very own bon vivant, raconteur, socialite and all round sportsman Lord Royston of Rayleigh has graciously offered to provide a day of entertainment for our esteemed guest, away from the rigours of high office. When interviewed for the local marconiphone Lord Royston, as befitting a man of such sporting prowess, had very kindly offered a day of shooting, hounds, fly fishing, bare knuckle fighting, fencing and boxing but, after consultation with the admiralty settled for more cerebral matters such as assembling the appropriate titles for the Australian Navy library and discussing the finer points of international gunboat diplomay and whether or not the liquid refreshment known as Boddingtons is in fact better than Shepherd Neame. Aeronef construction techniques and the future role of our gallant chaps when operating alongside such mechanical marvels as the Landship will also feature; albeit in a relaxed and informal atmosphere. This, and many other topics of equal import will provide a welcome relief from the serious duties that bring our cousin from across the sea to these shores.

Lord Royston, as was his wont, went on to say "All work and no play makes Jack a dull dingo or some such nonsense. The poor fellow will need some sport what?We will have a roistering session around some very genteel and cultured parts of this great metropolis (Lord Royston was winking furiously at this point, probably due to some old and tiresome eye injury gained whilst hunting on Veldt) and damnation to the Queens enemies!"

Well said in our opinion and if there is a man in the empire to provide a suitable days diversion than it must surely be that epitome of manly virtue, that paragon of fair play and victor across many a sports field and bar: Lord Royston of Rayleigh, KBC, VC, Order of the Golden Camel with crossed Palm Leaves, Croix de Guerre, Iron Coss, YIAWWS.

2 comments:

Tas said...

":Lord Royston of Rayleigh, KBC, VC, Order of the Golden Camel with crossed Palm Leaves, Croix de Guerre, Iron Coss, YIAWWS."

I believe, Sir, you forgot one of post-nominals: VD and Bar!

Ogrefencer said...

.....Lord Royston of Rayleigh has most strongly denied the allegations emanating from a rather unfortunate misunderstanding with a famed music hall actress - it was never proven and his medical records were sadly lost in the great Aeronef disaster in '95. Rumours of his Lordships involvement in this have been discounted by the investigating authorities.......

An exploration of debauchery, vice and other reasons to be a man!

An exploration of debauchery, vice and other reasons to be a man!