Monday, 22 May 2006

SECRET OPERATIONS IN THE ARABIAN PENINSULA!!

IMPERIAL AGENTS TO COORDINATE BEDOUIN EFFORTS ON HER MAJESTIES SECRET SERVICE!!

TURKISH ‘BLOCKADE’ BREACHED WITH IMPUNITY!!

In the weeks following the outbreak of hostilities between Her Majesties Government and Dominion Forces and those of the Ottoman Empire the Bedouin Arabs have suffered a seemingly never-ending series of reverses. Casualties have been heavy and the fragile unity of the tribes, striving to throw off the yoke of oppression, has been under immense pressure. Petty squabbling amongst the various tribal chieftains has aided the Turkish cause immeasurably. A divided Arabia is a far easier prospect to police than one united against a common enemy.

Whilst Her Majesties Forces continue to build up to fighting strength, both in the Red Sea and Egypt, the Government has rightly concluded that some form of supportive action is desperately needed; to ease the pressure on the beleaguered Bedouin tribesmen. Clearly, it would be foolhardy in the extreme to deploy men and material piecemeal; this would be inviting defeat in detail given the local Turkish superiority in most arms of service. With this in mind the joint Chiefs of Staff have issued the following communique:

“For the duration of hostilities in the Red Sea and Arabian Peninsula areas it has been decided to raise a small, highly trained formation of men, drawn from all arms of service and specialised in a great variety of military techniques. The purpose of this unit is to operate in conjunction with our Bedouin Allies in their struggle against the Turkish enemy. This unit will undergo the most strenuous training that can be provided; both physical and mental, and will have access to the finest equipment devised by the scientists of Her Majesties Empire. Training in many forms of combat and sabotage will provide a firm background of knowledge that will be required by the said operatives when operating behind enemy lines. Volunteers for this coveted unit will be very carefully selected and only serving members of the armed forces with exemplary records will be considered. Further details as to applications for this unit, as well as the terms and conditions applicable, will be made available in due course. This unit will be known as the Special Arabian Service or S.A.S for short.”

Through the efforts of our various sources we have managed to discover that in fact, despite the above official communication, serving officers of Her Majesties Armed Forces are all ready operating in such a capacity. These brave and plucky fellows, risking capture; torture and probably death on a daily basis have made their way by various means into the Arabian heartland, thereby bringing temporary succour to the Bedouin. By land, sea and air these stalwarts of the Empire have cocked a snook at the occupying forces and are, even now, plotting various acts of discomfiture in conjunction with our Bedouin Allies against the Turk and his German ally. By various means these gallant officers have made a mockery of the so-called blockade imposed by the Turkish authorities against any form of access to the Peninsula. Naturally we are unable to describe in any greater detail the operations currently being undertaken but as soon as further details become available we will ensure that these are faithfully reported.

REST ASSURED MR.TURK AND HERR HUN – RETRIBUTION FOR YOUR NEFARIOUS BEHAVIOUR WILL BE BOTH SWIFT AND SEVERE!!

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An exploration of debauchery, vice and other reasons to be a man!

An exploration of debauchery, vice and other reasons to be a man!