Wednesday, 10 May 2006

TURKISH COMMUNIQUE CAUSES UPROAR!

EMERGENCY MEETING OF THE CABINET HELD – PARLIAMENT RECALLED!

AIR AND NAVAL ASSETS TO BE DEPLOYED IN THE RED SEA

Following the receipt of an official Turkish Government communiqué yesterday evening, the cabinet has met in an emergency session to discuss the contents therein. A further development was the recall of parliament to debate the matter further. Clearly this is an ominous turn of events and the contents of the communiqué (as yet not released to the public) can be assumed to be provocative in the extreme. Whilst the contents are being debated upon, the Cabinet Press Secretary, The Right Honourable Sir Giles Villiers – Roehampton, MP for Rye, has issued this very brief statement:

"Her Majesties Government; upon receipt of an official communique from the Government of Turkey, is meeting to discuss and consider the contents therein. The gravity and seriousness of what has been communicated requires that we very carefully, and with all due diligence, consider the full implications of both the Turkish and our own responses. The protection of the sovereign territory of this empire and its friends and allies is a responsibility that this Government takes very seriously. With this in mind, although with very great reluctance and sadness, additional elements of Her Majesties Air and Naval Forces are to be despatched immediately to the Red Sea. This should not be construed as an act of aggression on the part of the British Empire – it is merely to safeguard our interests, and those of our friends and allies in the region during this time of uncertainty. An appropriate response will be sent to the Turkish Government in due course but as a preliminary measure Her Majesties Government has formally requested that any efforts towards mining the Gulf of Aqaba should cease forthwith, pending discussions to be held at the appropriate time and in the appropriate forum. That is the end of this statement – further details will be announced in due course."

Seldom has a Government statement been delivered in such a restrained fashion and it was apparent that Sir Giles was maintaining his composure with the greatest of difficulty in the face of such blatant provocation and disregard for the protocol of international diplomacy.

GOD SPEED TO OUR GALLANT FORCES EN ROUTE TO THE RED SEA!

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An exploration of debauchery, vice and other reasons to be a man!

An exploration of debauchery, vice and other reasons to be a man!