Thursday, 18 May 2006

TURKISH WAR MACHINES DRIVE ALL BEFORE THEM!!

ARAB FORCES ROUTED IN THE HEDJAZ

Word has just reached our offices in Khartoum of a crushing defeat inflicted on our gallant Bedouin allies somewhere in the Hedjaz, to the south of Shedia. Astute readers will doubtless recall a similar incident occurring during the earlier insurrection of 1911 when the Turkish Dirigible Maleesh was in action supporting Ottoman forces in this troubled region. This time however, the Ottoman force, rather than consisting of a small mobile column (in the fashion of our own Field Forces; latterly in use in both India and the Sudan) with limited aerial support; comprised the full paraphernalia of a modern and mechanised army. Great armoured vehicles, bristling with gun batteries and capable of levelling entire villages together with smaller, more agile versions used to seek out and find the enemy wherever he may take refuge, mean that no region can be deemed safe from their depredations. The Tribal Arabs, whilst being superb irregular warriors; both fearless and brave; have no answer to the might of these ponderous pachyderms. There are limits beyond which mere flesh is unable to prevail and in the diabolical devices of the Turkish Army the Bedouin have found theirs. A recent attempt by our gallant Bedouin Allies to cut the Medina railroad failed with heavy losses as the Turks deployed patrolling Land Ironclads and their various supporting Contraptions. The massed volleys of heavy artillery and machine gun fire from these mechanical monstrosities was awesome to behold and struck terror into the hearts of all that faced them. Cold steel and rifle fire are but puny irritations to these leviathans; one could as easily attempt to down a Rhinoceros with a peashooter as try conclusions with one of these armoured giants.

The force of some 1,500 Bedouin Tribesmen attempted to ambush the railway in order to prevent reinforcements being despatched to assist the beleaguered garrison in Medina. Unknown to the gallant Bedouin, the Turkish High Command (no doubt persuaded by their dastardly overlords from Berlin!) had also despatched this force of armoured vehicles to escort the troop train and to assist the garrison in its unsavoury oppression in the surrounding hinterland. The fight was brief and bloody as, despite repeated charges into the very teeth of the Turkish fire, the Bedouin were cut to pieces from all side. The bloodied but unbowed survivors; together with such wounded as were able to escape, dispersed into the surrounding wilderness. The Turkish convoy then proceeded on its way, impervious and unsullied.

It is the considered opinion of many on the Imperial Staff that the struggle of the Bedouin tribesman needs the support and succour of all reasonable and decent civilised nations and it is their earnest desire to fulfil this moral obligation as soon as is prudent to do so. In the meantime the struggle will go on and the hastily assembled forces of the Empire, still rallying around the clarion call of the mother country, will make all speed to provide such assistance as is necessary.

GOD SPEED TO OUR GALLANT FORCES ON LAND, SEA AND IN THE AIR!!

GOD BLESSES OUR GALLANT AND PLUCKY BEDOUIN FRIENDS IN THIS, THEIR DARKEST HOUR!!

THE THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS OF THE FREE NATIONS OF THE WORLD ARE WITH YOU!!

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An exploration of debauchery, vice and other reasons to be a man!

An exploration of debauchery, vice and other reasons to be a man!