Sunday, 9 September 2007

Dr Steel Interview, Part 2

As you are probably aware, last week we had the opportunity to ask the infamous Dr Steel a few questions and learn more about him and his intended conquest of the world. This is Part 2 of that Interview, where the insane but lovable Doktor answers some supplementary questions. He writes:

Dr Steel: My Dear Tas,

Below are answers to your recent inquiries. I do so hope they help in your creation of this much appreciated blog.

White Wine Sauce (WWS): What exactly are you a Doctor of? Where did you study and what are your credentials?

Dr Steel: I am a doctor of spin and a professor of reality engineering. I am a Minister of Metaphysics and I have acquired my credentials online from the same university as Dr. Dre and Dr. Suess were appointed their elite status.

WWS: Many would-be World Emperors have made fatal mistakes on their road to immortality. Indeed, these have now been published into a large list of "Top things NOT to do when you take over the world" which my agents inform me has recently been brought to your attention. How will this list effect your plans and what, in your opinion, are the most important mistakes to avoid?

Dr Steel: Indeed, there have been many examples of what not to do by those who have attempted to take of the world in the past. I believe there is much to be gained from these past failures as well as much to be learned from the brief successes. Being certain to crush your foe quickly without explaining the complicated details of how you came to be and how you have decided to finish them is one of the most fatal flaws. Likewise there is much to be learned from the style of previous world domination oriented uniforms. There were some smashing designers with grand taste indeed. Shiny black is always a good choice.

WWS: Many would-be World Emperors have embraced organic familiars; Mr Bigglesworth the Cat comes immediately to mind, and keeping predatory animals such as sharks and crocodiles as a means of eliminating the unwanted. You have instead embraced artificial familiars in the form of your robot army. What is the downside to inorganic companions and what are the pitfalls of combining your friends with a mechanism for enslaving the world? Did your unfortunate episode with the poodle Baby Lu-Lu taint you at all?

Dr Steel: Though I do appreciate the natural world, I am rather opposed to the idea of "pets". Poodles are far from members of the natural world as they have been genetically altered to serve as decorative trifles and barking accessories. Such experimentation should cease immediately.

I do however enjoy my robotic experiments. Mechanical companions are grand...that is, when they work. I suppose the downside would be their frequent malfunctioning. I had one little fellow who became entangled in a bio-feedback loop resulting in its scratching a nearly un-repairable hole in my experiment room door. Though I look forward to far more efficient artificial intelligences in the near future.

WWS: What is your opinion on giant armoured airships and their uses in conquering and domination? What would you call your flagship?

Dr Steel: A good question indeed. I am rather a fan of the zeppelin, aesthetically speaking. When it comes to durability I would have to opt for flying saucers. As for a name, I believe "The Steel Beast" might be nice, or perhaps "Bad Ship Lollipop".

WWS: In return for my sworn allegiance and Commanding your aerial armada in support of the robot toy army rampaging below, may I be granted the Governorship of Australasia and South East Asia?

Dr Steel: Ah, by all means my good man. I'll even throw in a personal action figure to be molded in your honour as well.

WWS: Excellent! I cant wait to see "Action Tas" and what awesome array of acessories and weapons he comes with.

Thankyou again for your time Dr Steel. Its been another enlightening but disturbing journey through your psyche...

Dr Steel: Thank you ever so much for the grand spreading of my propaganda, my good man. I appreciate it very much

Yours in a White Wine Sauce,

Commander of Dr Steel's Aerial Armada and
Governor designate of Australiasia and South East Asia


Don M said...

"Action Tas" and his awesome array of accessories and weapons that comes comes with it? LOL!!!That I got to see...)Another great interview Tas!


Tas said...

Think of all the cool accessories he could come with - Steam poweed Land Ironclad walker, Experimental Aquanef and Aerial Assault Aerostat for starters!

thanks Don!

Don M said...

Indeed they will be doubtless mighty....)

Back to my genealogical research into the good doctor's past:
I'm right now working on his
great grandfather's submersible.

I wonder what territory gets
ceded to me for my loyalty?


Vanvlak said...

Bags I the Tas Cigars and Brandy Accessory Set ;)
(and I don't even smoke, or drink anything other than wine or the odd Guinness)

Vanvlak said...

PS - sorry, forgot to say - great tailor, Doc.

An exploration of debauchery, vice and other reasons to be a man!

An exploration of debauchery, vice and other reasons to be a man!