Saturday, 1 September 2007

An interview with Dr Steel:- a White Wine Sauce exclusive!

You may recall my recent introduction of a visionary named Dr Phineas Waldolf Steel, which was detailed here:

I have been corresponding with the good (yet unstable and unhinged) Doctor and recently requested an email interview in which he would answer some posed questions. To my great pleasure, this dapper gentleman replied:

My dear Tas,
I would be delighted to appear in your blog.

* White Wine Sauce (WWS): What first led you to suspect your own insanity and embrace it as an ideal?

It began long ago with my daily commute to and from a small office while tolerating bumper to bumper traffic. Anyone who accepts such daily punishment certainly has psychological issues. I didn't notice this at the time, of course, and it wasn't until I was officially labeled insane by the medical directors of a psychiatric hospital that I became aware of my mental state.

Many insane people are unaware of their insanity, fortunately I was shown a graph charting my madness so it's all very clear to me now. I have embraced this fact and now utilize my own insanity to forge a new road in my life. Since one's reality is only as real as one perceives it to be, I have decided to become World Emperor.

* What will be the first ten things you do as World Emperor?

First of all I will do a monkey-like dance. Shortly thereafter I shall assemble an elite and talented crew of technicians from across the globe to begin realizing the transformation of this world; something I like to call a world "make-over".
I will then focus my attention on restructuring the educational system, followed by setting up the Neurological Android Research Facility to advance technologies in the department of artificial intelligence. Having tea with Ray Kurzwiel and Zecharia Sitchin would certainly prove to bring upon some interesting ideas, and then I shall oversee the refurbishing of the White House into a delightful, and educational, miniature golf course.
My attention will then be directed towards alternate forms of far more efficient transportation and cleaner food manufacturing. All the while, I shall be constructing giant robots to utilize as defense against the inevitable battle with The Alien Illuminati who will be rather displeased with such advancements. Lastly I would like to present a special puppet show about chinchillas.

* WWS:What is your position on extraterrestrial life and the search for it?

My opinion of extraterrestrial life is one that points to the idea that we, as humans, are the extraterrestrials to begin with. An alien presence has always been here for as long as we have been hitting two rocks together, and their intervening with the hominids on this planet resulted in the mish-mashed society in which we live. I am completely supportive of those who look for extraterrestrial life, though much of what is shown to us through the mass media is only a smokescreen in an attempt to convince us that if anything other than ourselves exists in the universe, that it is only a small microbe and very far away. When in fact, the very powers who control such information are those who came to this planet thousands upon thousands of years ago.

To find the truth, as is in many cases, we must look well as underground.

* WWS: What do you think was God's biggest mistake?

Oh goodness, where to start? Humans have too many design flaws to even begin to list. Though in order to answer this question properly, we must first define "God". It seems to me that God is an idea, perhaps a feeling that there is something bigger than us in the universe. Something which plans and controls all things forever and always. To me, this sounds like a source of life, or energy, rather than a fellow with a white beard and a mean temper. Rather than God making mistakes, it seems that our general perception of God is a mistake in and of itself. As wee humans, our perception of things grander than us has always brought upon awe. As a result our "truth" hungry minds have devised a wide variety of ways to justify all things. As technology appears to be magic to those who do not understand it, humans have also etched tales of immortal gods in the stone of yesterday. Our assumed perception of the gods of antiquity are in fact the distant memories of flawed and power-hungry beings who have little to no respect for the occupants of planet Earth. To this end, many of our control oriented belief systems were established to keep "the monkeys" under control and quiet.

I feel that the idea of God is a good one in that we must maintain a perspective of there being a creative force of energy permeating reality. To become aware of this and to utilize such power is, in my opinion, the only thing really worth doing...

...aside from a monkey-like dance which is pretty fun too.

~Dr. Phineas Waldolf Steel


I would like to thank the good Doctor for donating his valuable time away from his music and world domination plans to answer these questions for Yours in a White Wine Sauce! I would also like to thank him for the use of the publicity photographs used in this article.

Coming soon: Dr Steel Interview, Part 2
or not, depending on how he feels and if the progress of his Toy Army permits

In the meantime, you too can enlist in the Toy Army here:

or you may financially contribute to the good Doctor's campaign for world dominance here:


Joe said...

Simply Brilliant!!! Great job on this one Tas!

Don M said...

A litter to Dr Steel:

My group in conjunction with
her Majesty's Secret Service
have discovered some rather interesting facts regarding
your family history.In fact
there are items that are were officially classified until
the recent passage of the
Freedom Of Information Act
passed by parliament.

It has been known by the
relevant agencies that your
great grandfather and namesake
was declared an official enemy
of the Empire by queen Victoria herself after an incident in
June of 1882.

The facts concerning this and
many other incidents were kept
from public knowledge for the obvious reason that knowing
at that time of such advanced weaponry and devices would
undermine the peoples confidence
in the government. It was
also determined that your
great grandfather was at the
center of many crisis's
involving our and other
governments running from the
1880s to 1920. One astounding
and peculiar facet in all this
was the fact that "apparently"
your great grandfather did not
age after 1890. All reports on
him simply ceased on or about

Our agency in compliance with
the FOIA will be slowly
releasing all it has over the coming months regarding the
activities of Dr Phineas W.
Steel I. at our official web

If you have anything you might
wish to add for posterity
the agency would be in your


Don M
Founder and Contributor

Don M said...

My response from the good doctor:

My dear Don,

Indeed, it seems that the inevitable truth is coming
to light. I must admit that
I too am uncovering such
details of the "larger picture"
and as you discover such information through this
avenue, I too begin to realize
the scope of what shall be revealed.

I look forward to the information you may have access to, likewise
I shall continue to delve into
the rather foggy memory-banks of
my transformation. I do not rule any possibilities out.

~Dr. Phineas Waldolf Steel

An exploration of debauchery, vice and other reasons to be a man!

An exploration of debauchery, vice and other reasons to be a man!